Friday, March 13, 2009

The newspaper headline says it all:


At a Petticoat Junction press conference last December, Shady Rest Hotel owner Kate Bradley announced that she had lost millions in the Bernie Madoff investment scandal but expressed optimism at the time that swift legal action might head off complete bankruptcy. Just days later, she traveled to Hooterville to meet with agricultural activist, Grange leader and former attorney Oliver Wendell Douglas.

Mr. Douglas, in turn, contacted former associates at his Park Avenue law firm in New York but by then the case was in the hands of federal attorneys. “One thing I’ve learned from working with Mr. Kimball (Hooterville county agent),” said Douglas, “is that once the government gets involved, you’re pretty well screwed.”
Now that there are no other options available, Bradley is stoic. “I still have my health and, of course, the girls,” she said. “That’s more than some others can say.” She obviously had in mind friend and former owner of Drucker’s General Store Sam Drucker. Another Madoff investor, Drucker threw himself in front of the Cannonball Express late one night before Christmas. “I didn’t see him ‘til the last second,” sobbed engineer Charley Pratt. “I slammed on the brakes but by then it was too late.”

The tragedy was compounded when conductor Floyd Smoot, knocked off balance when the brakes were applied, fell from the caboose and struck his head on one of the posts of the water tower, killing him instantly. The impact was so forceful that several petticoats fell from the tank onto the body, hiding it from investigators for several days. Early this year, Homer Bedloe, vice-president of the C&FW Railroad and owner of the Express, announced that the branch line was finally being shut down.

Ironically, Mr. Douglas finds himself the target of investigators now that the FBI has learned that his wife Lisa is Ruth Madoff’s first cousin and apparently maintained constant contact with the disgraced financier’s wife throughout the years of criminal activity.

“She was up and down that ‘phone pole outside their place more times than I can count,” testified Eustace Haney, a former Hooterville resident but now residing in Crabwell Corners. “She always said that New York is where she’d rather stay, but I don’t think it was because she was allergic to smelling hay,” he quipped.

To be sure, FBI agents searching the Douglas home found drawers full of expensive jewelry and closets stuffed with designer dresses and formal wear. “They don’t sell stuff that good even at the Stankwell Falls Mall,” Mr. Haney observed.

Rural investors are not the only ones suffering. In Milwaukee, the family of former hardware store owner Howard Cunningham gave an interview to the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel and talked about the patriarch’s struggle with Alzheimer’s. They are bringing him back to their home on North Clinton Drive because they can no longer afford the fees at Shotz Manor, the assisted-living community where Mr. Cunningham has lived for the past 14 years.

“He doesn’t understand why he has to leave his friends,” said wife Marion, choking back tears. “He just keeps saying, ‘If it’s a Fonzie scheme, then tell Fonzie to fix it.’”

“It’s sad,” sighed their son, Lieutenant General Richard “Richie” Cunningham, “just really sad.”

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